BECAUSE I FEEL EMPTY WITHOUT YOU

"wonderful" - by Adam Ant

(photo by my beautiful cousin http://www.flickr.com/photos/emilymargarit)

when im not next to you the world moves in slow motion. nothing seems real. nothing matters. all i can think about is how many practices until i get to see you. how many hours. how many seconds. how many heart beats till ours both coincide.

when im not with you i cant think straight. im going through the motions, im doing everything i should, but in my head im laying beside you, my head on your cheast. i can hear your heart beat, i can feel your lungs fill up.

when im not breathing your air i feel like im suffocating. i could literally live off of you. i could take your oxygen. i could go through my whole life taking in only you. forever.

i want you forever.

im so in love. i love it. i love being in love. its the best thing in the world i think. i dont think there is any other feeling that can even come close to what i feel for him. food? nope. apple pie? nope. internet? nope. i would give everything up for him. i never want to lose him :)

BECAUSE HE LOVES ME

"running down that hill" - cover by Placebo

i feel no pain, i feel no doubt

i only feel the endless waves

of passion cruising in my heart

like tides brought in from crystal seas.

they smash in ways i cant describe

against the strings that keep me down.

they resurrect this feeling deep

within my soul i thought was dead.

they formed from ash reformed by you.

you are the only wave to me.

love is an amazing thing. i think about it all the time and i still cant figure it out. it just all worked out too perfectly, like it was fate. cheesy? i know. corny? yes. but it is the only explanation. how else could i fall so easily into perfection? this sort of thing doesnt just happen. it doesnt just fall on your lap. but you cant control it either. you cant go out there and find it. it finds you. by chance? thats like winning the lottery. by destiny? that just makes me sounds crazy. whatever it is (that fateful force that makes the world turn and makes us find eachother in the vast last of loneliness), i thank it. it has made me happier than ive ever been before. it gave me you.

BECAUSE I GOT WET

"love missile f1-11 extended version" - by Sigue Sigue Sputnik

i went away. kern river. thats where i went. and i went with the only boy in the world who makes me heart melt. granted, there were some intrusions in the form of parents. but it was a nice preview to the things to come. now, i want to run away with him. i want the same thing we just had, expect i want it to be just us. i want to share the same room. the same car. the same raft. just us two. i dont want to be restricted by the fact that my father scares the shit out of him. i want just him. and me. just us two. because i love him so fucking much.